... because we are members of his body.
Ephesians 5:30

Ephesians 5:22–6:9 – Learning to Live Under the Reign of Christ
Fourteenth Sunday in Ordinary Time: Life in the Spirit  – August 25, 2024 (am)    

We have a passage before us this morning that’s as controversial in our day as it is familiar. Few teachings from the Bible can kick up as much opposition in our twenty-first century world as the NT’s instruction on what it means to live in a manner worthy of the [gospel] (4:1) in our home and family relationships. The Denominational Meetings of the Southern Baptist Convention are covered by every news source in the US each year as our nation just marvels from a distance that anyone could still believe what we’re told in the text of Scripture that I just read a moment ago.

But this is the Word of God, and He hasn’t changed His mind. Nor has the rich illustration of His saving grace that He’s designed human marriage to portray become any less important to understand in our day than it has been in every intervening generation since Paul wrote this letter.

However, our focus today is not going to be on this marriage relationship in isolation from its context. But we will give the bulk of our time to the marriage portion of this passage just toward understanding why Paul has addressed these three relationships here, and in the particular ways he’s done so. So, let’s move into this three-part passage.

Be Filled by the Spirit as Wives and Husbands – 5:22-33

Let me answer a couple of questions as we get started that I believe will help us appreciate what we’re reading here. First question, why am I casting these as commands to be filled [by] the Spirit (5:18) in each of these three relationships? Indeed, why did we begin our reading in v.18 rather than v.22?

Answer: because we have to go back to v.18 before we see our last command. V.22 has no command. In fact, it has no verb. Literally it reads: wives, to your own husbands as to the Lord. That’s why many people want to suggest that v.21 needs to be included with v.22, because the word submitting comes from there and is just assumed in v.22. And from that, many also want to suggest that wives aren’t called here to submit to their husbands in any way that differs from how husbands are called to submit to their wives. They should be submitting to one another out of reverence for Christ (5:21).

But that’s not what Paul is saying here, because submitting is not a command either. It’s a participle, one of five that follow on the heels of the command back in v.18, letting us know what course we’ll follow as we obey that command.

So, what’s the command? There are two, opposite sides of the same coin: 5:18 … do not get drunk with wine, for that is debauchery, but be filled [by] the Spirit. We might say: don’t surrender yourself to influences that nullify your human faculties and thus your dignity; rather, receive the Influence which enables you to live as you were created by God to live. Don’t give in to being sub-human! Be super-human in the way God has intended for His glory!

Five participles then follow, telling us what that looks like; the second and third work together: 19 (1) addressing one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, encouraging one another using God’s Word set to music (cf. O’Brien 395), (2) singing and (3) making melody (psalming) to the Lord with your heart, this is the same activity but now directed to the Lord rather than to one another, 20 (4) giving thanks always and for everything to God the Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, Pastor Nick addressed the massive role of thanksgiving (5:4) last week, and then finally, 21 (5) submitting to one another out of reverence for Christ, seeking to outdo one another in showing honor (Rom.12:10), to count [one another as] more significant that [ourselves] (Phi.2:3). There’s the instruction for the body of Christ as a whole, what it’ll look like when they’re filled [by] the Spirit, walking in a manner worthy of [their] calling (4:1).

But then there’s a shift at v.22 even though it borrows the verb of v.21. It shows a continuation of the theme, but it’s a wholly new category of application. V.21 can’t split off from vv.18-20; that wouldn’t make sense. But from that list of participles, it uniquely sets up v.22. We’re still within the body of Christ, but we’re turning our attention to subgroups that won’t be symmetrical relationally, but asymmetrical.

5:22 Wives are called to submit to [their] own husbands, as to the Lord. … 25 Husbands are called to love [their] wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her. And the reason for this difference, this asymmetrical authority structure in which the two parts are not interchangeable, is stated right in between these two assertions. 23 For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior.

The remainder of c.5 offers very helpful instruction and illustration on how this works. It’s the longest passage in the NT that offers such instruction to husbands and wives about what marriage is and how their respective roles work together to preserve the heart of marriage, to fulfill God’s purpose for marriage. And it’s a purpose that goes all the way back to the Garden of Eden, before the fall. Paul quotes the Bible’s theme verse on marriage (Gen.2:24), then explains God’s purpose for it. 5:31 “Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.” 32 This mystery is profound, to which every commentator would say: Amen, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church. God designed marriage from the very beginning, even before the fall, to picture Christ and the church, the community of the [redeemed] (1:7), reconciled to God by the shed blood of Christ (2:16), and united into one family (3:15), one new man (2:15), the body of Christ (5:23, 30), the Bride (5:28-30).

So, God wants the richly rewarding, self-sacrificially loving, unconditionally trusting and sanctifying relationship He has with His people to be lived out as a clarifying and compelling illustration in this world, these evil days (5:16), through Christian marriage. That will be the outcome as Christian husbands and wives walk in a manner worthy of the calling to which [they] have been called (4:1), and they’ll need to be filled [by] the Spirit (5:18) to do it.

Second question, why such lengthy and detailed instruction here in this particular letter? Christian marriage and family life surely stood apart from the cultural norm in the Roman Empire with regard to the respect and dignity it affirmed for both wives and the children, but surely Ephesus was in no greater need of this instruction than the churches in the other cities to which Paul wrote. I believe we’d benefit most from hearing two complementary responses to this question.

In this letter, Paul is unveiling God’s purpose in the gospel to unite all things in [Christ] (1:10), under His reign. He’s also unveiling the mystery of Jews and Gentiles united in Christ into one body (4:4). And His charge to His people is to walk in a manner worthy of [this] calling (4:1). Marriage is a pretty familiar human experience, and it also plays a pretty prominent role in the fulfillment of God’s purpose in the gospel; it’s the visible human relationship that most clearly illustrates the invisible relationship God has with His redeemed people during these present evil days (5:16). So, where better to give this instruction, seeing how needful it is for His people to know what living under the reign of Christ should involve in Christian marriage, what walking in a manner worthy of the [gospel] should look like as Christian husbands and Christian wives.

But there’s also an underlying theme of Christian witness in this letter. God’s purpose in the gospel as it opens is to unite all things in [Christ], things in heaven and things on earth (1:10)—nothing exempted, nothing omitted (cf. Phi.2:9-11). And Paul’s prayer request as it ends is 6:19 … that words may be given to [him]… to proclaim the mystery of the gospel, 20 … that [he] may declare it boldly, as [he] ought to speak. If we view today’s passage through this particular lens, we can see a bold witness to the mystery of the gospel (6:19-20) proclaimed by Christian marriages and families as they pose a striking contrast to the sexual immorality in these present evil days (5:16) that’s so prominent here in 5:3-14.

We’re called to show this world the difference—God’s better way, His intended way, what life under the reign of Christ looks like in familiar human relationships

Be Filled by the Spirit as Children and Parents – 6:1-4

Now we’re set up to look at the second and third parts of this passage in just a few sentences each. We just saw that when Christian husbands and wives pursue marriage according to this teaching, that plays a rather prominent role in their experiencing every spiritual blessing in the heavenly places (1:3) that they receive in Christ, when they’re filled [by] the Spirit (5:18) to walk in a manner worthy of [their] calling (4:1) as Christian husbands and wives. But then there’s also an outreach component to their marriage, a bold witness to the mystery of the gospel (6:19-20) that’s proclaimed in these present evil days (5:16) by their uniquely Christian marriage. And I would say this bears fruit both inside and outside the church, calling this world into relationship with Christ and also encouraging unmarried fellow believers to press on in their war to maintain the sexual purity (5:3ff.) of a worthy walk (4:1) with Him.

Well, the very same is true in Christian families. Both parts are present here, too. We hear the biblical anchoring of this charge to children (6:1.) as it echoes the Fifth Commandment (6:2; Exo.20:12). And not only is it right (6:1) for children to do this, a promise (6:2) of blessing comes along with it.

Be Filled by the Spirit as Workers and Bosses – 6:5-9

This same double-blessing flows over into the workplace as Christians move into that sphere—the experience of all the fullness of God (3:19) that accompanies a worthy walk (4:1) and the bold witness to the mystery of the gospel that’s proclaimed (6:19) in these evil days (5:16) as Christians are filled [by] the Spirit (5:18).

And here, not just Christian husbands and wives (5:22-33), not just Christian children and parents (6:1-4), but also Christian workers and bosses are all addressed as equals. I’ve called it the dignity of direct address. They’re talked to as brothers and sisters in Christ who’re all on the same level. They’re each given their instruction, and they’ll each answer to the Lord for it. That’s affirmed in every single verse of this section.

Conclusion

So, what’s our bottom line today? Surely we should enter into the blessings (1:3) of God described in this passage and bear witness (6:19) to one another and to the watching world as we, filled by the Spirit (5:18), relate to one another both at home and at work (5:22-6:9). But there’s still a bit more to say about all this, and especially marriage, that all too easily eludes us. And I believe it’s something that flows rather clearly out of what Paul is teaching here, but that it’s far too easily missed. Yet, it something we all need to hear.

Marrieds and unmarried alike can honor the teaching of this passage by receiving and responding to it in context in our evil days (5:16). Unmarried adults who live without even a hint of sexual immorality (5:3 niv) are honoring this instruction, this vision of Christian marriage, right alongside their married brothers and sisters. It is this understanding of marriage that identifies sexual immorality as so offensive, so selfish.

Indeed, this vision of marriage captures our attention like a beautiful sunrise, overwhelming us with a sense of God’s presence and power and goodness. And it stands as reorienting correction to all of us, married and unmarried alike, helping us to live in this life as imitators of God (5:1), not pursuers of our own path of selfish fulfillment.

It’s only this vision of marriage that can help those who haven’t entered into it to live above even a hint of sexual immorality (5:3 niv). And it’s only this vision of marriage that can help those who have entered into it not to treat it selfishly, not to use it to justify any expression of self-gratification or self-actualization or self-exaltation. Just because it’s well-meaning Christians who have entered into marriage, doesn’t ensure that this vision is being pursued any more than professing Christ as Savior means that we’ve immediately attained spiritual maturity or the measure of all the fullness of God (3:19).

Let’s now come to the Lord’s Table and receive God’s grace to remember who we are, and why.

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Resources

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                  , R. T. France, J. A. Motyer, & G. J. Wenham, eds. 1994. New Bible Commentary 21st Century Edition. Ephesians, by Max Turner, 1222-1244. Leicester, Eng.: InterVarsity.

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NEXT SUNDAY: Be Strong in the Lord, Ephesians 6:10–24